"Hey, I was hoping you can tell me what's going on ... I've been crying all day, I woke up with it. It's horrible, I'm frustrated and so sad all the time and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I feel really alone and confused and I can't stop crying." When it's one caller like that, you brush it off. When it's everyone for two or three days straight, you start wondering what's going on.
From the looks of it, there's a particular set of feelings that's making its rounds since the end of last month. It looks like this:
- "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?"
- "It's all so pointless, empty, I'm not going anywhere"
- A sense of panick, anxiousness
- Sadess, mourning
- Physical illness (couching, hacking, fever etc)
- Each person's particular flavour of childhood baggage coming to say hello (and then, goodbye).
This would be great for the phone line business, were it not that I've had my own encounter with this set of feelings too, and being a very sensitive person who tends to feel trends on a much bigger scale than just my own neighbourhood (and by feel I mean, a good PMS sounds like a vacation right about now), it knocked me around for a bit and I'm just finding my feet back.
It's so similar for everyone, that I've taken to starting out phonecalls about "There's this thing I've been feeling the last few days" with "Is it this thing? Because for everyone else, it's this thing. Sound familiar? Yeah? Good, you're being normal. Here's what's going on. Relax, it'll be fine, just sit it out. Now, what other thing is bugging you that you wanted to talk about? Let's do that."
So now you've got the heads-up too. There's this thing going on. You are probably feeling it. It'll probably be around for a few more days. Breathe, feel. If there are messy things from your past, this is a good time to let it go.
I can hear you asking, "What's this thing, then?" Because no one likes a random thing messing with their emotions and basic functionality, right?
Don't worry, it's not random. Here's what I've been telling my clients. The world's been going through a shift the last couple of years. Things have been changing pretty drastically, and pretty fast. You haven't seen a whole lot of it, because it's been going on at a pretty deep level that you can't see, but it's starting to get up there. At the very end of January, one of those big changes hit the surface, and that's what you've been feeling. You're not crazy, nothing's wrong.
The confusion and wondering what you're doing with your life, isn't actually bad. It means that instead of just living by default, from what you're used to doing, you've stopped and you're looking ahead. You're asking questions. "Am I happy? Is there more? Can I have it? Do I like what I have now?" And of course, since you're not very used to asking those questions, you don't know the answers. You're not sure what you're doing with your life. You're looking around the world and everything feels just a little different, and you're baffled by it. "What's going on? Should I be doing something? Is it me or does everything suddenly seem a little more vivid, are the colours brighter?"
Now, being all happy and suddenly having a lovely life doesn't go by itself. Many things from your past have been tripping you up, in work, relationships, in what you do with your life. You try, and you stall. If you're one of those people who suddenly had their baggage kick them in the teeth the past few weeks, this too is actually good. Say hi, but then say bye. It's coming up because it's on its way out. You're getting to a place where you're done with it. That's also why the sadness, the mourning. Baggage and other messy things that have been a part of who you are for probably as long as you can remember, are gone. Whoa, what? An empty space! Of course you're a little sad. But don't worry, you won't miss this stuff.
See, all this change, it's a good thing. Good things just sometimes look (and feel!) a lot like very messy things. Think of it like taking out the trash. A little smelly, but generally a good idea. It's been trash day.
You're ok. Enjoy your world, it just got prettier.