Sexual tension

The phrase sexual tension, what you might see at work, in school, in most movies, is a wrong phrase: it's not sexual tension.

Sex is a piece generated completely by the animal part of you: it says, "Reproduce! Hit that, make babies!" It doesn't care who the sex is with, it doesn't understand parent-child, student-teacher, boss-employee type relationships. Those are social interactions, the animal part of you doesn't understand them. It's perfectly reasonable to the animal to have sex with any possible partner, with all kinds of people that are socially inappropriate. The animal will smell the sexual energy, and so it says "That!" It's no big deal, it's appropriate for your animal parts to lust after anything.

The tension, however, comes later. The animal doesn't make it. It's a physiological response, to the social (mental/intellectual) response of repressing the animal sexual response. It's not a sexual tension, it's a physical tension. It's not even a physical tension caused by sex, it's caused by a fear for social ramifications. It's a social problem, not a sexual problem.

The effort here is to diffuse the social pressure. Stop hating yourself for what your animal parts feel. The animal doesn't know what is and isn't socially ok. If you want to talk to someone to deal with socially unacceptable feelings, you can do that, but don't shove it away. When you step on an emotion and press it down, you've just created a high-pressure spray. You can choose not to express the behaviour, but you can't repress the emotion and pretend it's not there.

Angel, 2015-03-16

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